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Mary Magdalene is an advanced form of Clevi Cloverspeak created by Nick Fesette and Winston Cook-Wilson based loosely upon Mary of Magdalene and perhaps Story of O. Like Condor vs. Ichabod Maccabeus and Glenn & Lockwood , it is one of the character-driven forms (the opposite being a word-play focused form like "I believe...").

Character SummaryEdit

Mary is a simple old hag who speaks in a swallowed Kermit the frog voice and wraps a shawl around her head to protect her sensitive scalp from the frostbite she receives on an average weather day.

She often talks at length and without provocation about her childhood. She was raised by a nun/great-aunt/willow tree/Indian chieftess who used to take her berry picking/leaf collecting/rock swallowing/knife sharpening at the stream/winterstrasse/dumpster/French bistro. When she got there her anus was dilated and filled with the previous year's harvest/she would tie a stick around her waist and rape the neighbor-boy until he took back the lies he told about her/she would challenge the Sun God to a spitting contest and after beating him handily she would force him to wrap himself in the folds of her pussy until he suffocated/she stole an infant from its cradle, named him Gerry, and raised him as her own sexual slave, forcing Gerry to ream her senseless twelve, sometimes thirteen times a day, and he did not know any other life until one day while in the village buying fruit and bread his parents recognized Gerry and he confronted Mary Magdalene about his past, and after she told him the truth he broke her nose open and shoved his nineteen penises inside until her brain ruptured and she died.

The trick to Mary's stories is the pastoral exposition soothes the listener, and the horrific and explicit rape-conflict assaults him/her.